They say time heals all wounds…
Today I went to the grocery store, it’s the first time I’ve been out by myself since Scarlett passed away (my husband and I have been doing everything together, neither wanting to be alone). At first it was like any other grocery store excursion, something that I typically do weekly, but then when I was headed back to my car with my groceries, I realized that when I got home I would not be Hobbesed (greeted by Scarlett in an enthusiastic way) when I got home. And then I realized that it had been nearly two weeks.
While I was out getting groceries I sent off a package to my friend who moved back East a few months ago… Scarlett loved her so much. It felt a little weird to be sending off a package with a bunch of bags of opened dog treats and 18 tennis balls, but it also felt right. I know that her dog will absolutely love the tennis balls, and Scarlett was always stopping by and taking samples from his treats — giving him her treats sounded right too.
I got a call from the vet’s office a few minutes ago. Scarlett’s paw print has arrived and I can pick it up anytime. I had her cremated with a group and they will spread her ashes in the ocean, we also requested a clay paw print. We have paw prints for our two boy Bassets that passed away, it helps to have something to touch that was made by pressing their paw into clay.
It occurred to me the other day that I have been a furbaby mom since I was 10 years old (wow, that’s 35 years). I found a cat and my parents said that I could keep her if I payed for everything… not being old enough to have a job, I kept careful notes as to how much I spent on food, toys, and vet visits and when I was old enough (about 6 years later) I started paying off my cat debt. She lived until I was 25, by then I had also adopted a bird, my two bassets, and another cat. When my youngest basset and last furbaby from that menagerie passed away my heart was broken, and I told my husband that I just couldn’t take the heartbreak of losing another furbaby… nine months later, we adopted Scarlett. She filled that void that was so empty and broken and she healed me. She made me whole again. She filled me with so much unconditional love. And now, almost 5 1/2 years later my heart is broken again. I think I’m handling it better this time, last time I was in a downward spiral of sadness and guilt that I didn’t do enough (even though I did). I know that I did everything I could this time (cancer always wins in the end), and the guilt isn’t there, but the sadness is.
Zentangle helps because it gets me out of my head and makes me concentrate on the pen strokes…
I started this Zentangle tile on Monday, adding a bit of shading and thicker lines yesterday and today. It is for the Diva Zentangle Challenge #305, this week’s challenge is to make a duotangle with Marasu and Molygon. I used String #249 and I think it turned out really well…
Until next time…
~nic
Photography by Nic 
I feel your pain! I lost my 2 rescues last year after 16 years of love and wagging tails they were gone 1 month apart. You never get over it but rescuing a pound pup is a great feeling. Or consider fostering for your local shelter. It’s tough but it saves lives! My heart is with you in your time of loss! Tangle it away. It’s saved me over and over!
Wow 1 month apart is brutal, I’m so sorry for your loss. 😦 I know that with time I will be ok again, and I also know I’m not ready yet for a new furry friend. I tend to give my all to my pets, and currently I don’t have it to give. We keep watching youtube videos of pups and smile at their silliness. And we have our eye on the rescue where we got Scarlett to see who they have available. But I’m going to give myself some time to just be me for awhile. Tangling does help, thanks for stopping by my little blog and commenting. 🙂
My pleasure😉 mine pretty small too! Happy tangling!
Beautiful tile and I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Kate 🙂
Lovely tile.
Thank you, Susan 🙂
It’s so hard to lose a pet that has become a real part of your family. I’m sorry for your loss. Do hold tight to the sweet memories though. I hope that working with Zentangle can ease your mind for a few moments now and then. Your tile is lovely!
Thanks, Jean, Zentangle is helping.
I think it worked out well too. It’s a lovely piece of work. I’m sorry you have lost your fur friend and I hope you start to recover soon, though we both know it won’t be quick. It’s hard to get over the loss of loved ones, no matter how many paws they have. Just keep going, keep tangling and you will slowly heal.
Thank you for your kind words, Magratscraft. 🙂
After my last dog (a huge one, a Landseer) died, I gave his drinking trough to my best friend for her dogs. A few month ago she got a puppy and …. It’s drinking from that trough and when I see the thing, I always remember my Landseer. I like your tile.
Annemarie, I had never heard of a Landseer, I looked it up, it *is* a big dog! 🙂 I’ve met a Newfoundland before, but I think the Landseer is a bit bigger, right? What a beautiful dog. Thank you for telling me about your memories.
You are right, a Landseer is bigger, in fact higher. They also have a different character, not ‘everybody’s friend’.
Annemarie, That’s interesting… the internet described Landseers as sweet and affectionate, but that could still be true for family. I had a Great Pyrenees growing up she was a great dog, very loving, but all my school mates were scared because they just saw a big dog.